June 22 Testimony By Jim Page

My Experience With Suffering
When asked to share with you my experience with suffering, my first response was, “I think you are asking the wrong person because I don’t think of myself as one who has suffered.” There are many members of this church who have experienced more illnesses or emotional suffering than I have. As Trevor Hudson said in a book the deacons and ministerial staff members are reading, “Everyone in this room is sitting in a pool of tears.”
But let me do as I was asked and share with you some of my story.
1. I have studied and taught from the Bible for many years and believe in God’s promises I have found in Scripture. The most important is one that an imminent scholar and commentary writer named Karl Barth said when asked to give a summary of his theology. He replied, “Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so.” – I am convinced this to be true for me and also for you. When I am down on myself for falling short of being the person others need. I remind myself of God’s steadfast love as demonstrated best for me by the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
2. I attempt to be a follower of Christ and believe that His Spirit is my constant companion. – The last words of Jesus that Matthew records are these, “Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” – I am convinced I am never alone in pain or emotional suffering. Several years ago, my eldest son, Jim, was diagnosed with a severe infection in his spinal column that would require extensive surgery. It took 11 hours to replace several vertebrae and disc with a cage supported by four metal posts that were screwed into his remaining vertebrae. I can still hear his screams during a period of two days because of the pain. The only way I could remain in the surgical ICU with him was to remind myself and Jim of the presence and steadfast love of the Spirit of Christ.
3. Thirdly, I have accepted my own mortality. I will eventually die. In the meantime life will not always be a bed of roses. This admission has since freed me to experience life to the fullest. Years ago I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Surgery was recommended. The subsequent pathology report said the tumor had metastasized and was in the lymph nodes. – Bad news. – I spent the next several hours coming to grips with my own mortality. – With the help of my daughter, personal prayer and support from Joyce, I chose a successful treatment plan and have spent the last 22 years unafraid of my personal death and being grateful for each day of life. John Claypool wrote a book entitled Tracks of a Fellow Struggler. This book tells of the emotional and spiritual pain he experienced during the illness and eventual death of his 9 year old daughter, Laura Lou. – He emerged from his painful experience realizing that Life is a Gift.
4. This brings me to my next value: I live with an Attitude of Gratitude. – I feel blessed in many ways. I am hugely grateful and especially blessed by the care and loving support of Joyce, other family members and also Christian friends. – They have walked with me during the valleys of my life journey, as well as the mountain-top experiences.
5. One of the lessons for me from the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus is this: “The worst thing in life is not the last thing.” – Close to three years ago my grandson, Spencer, died following a one year battle with aggressive soft tissue sarcoma. That year included some of the most painful hours of my life. Joyce and I helped care for Spencer at his home and in two hospitals on numerous occasions. Our personal emotional pain reached a peak during four of the final five weeks of his life, when we took our rotations providing Spencer with 24 hour presence and care at the hospital. It was not easy seeing a vibrant, athletic, fun loving and soft hearted kid suffer physically, become partially paralyzed and finally face his own death a month before his 18th birthday. During the night shifts at the hospital, we would sometimes remind Spencer that not only we, but also God loved him very much and his future was in God’s loving hands. Following Spencer’s death, Joyce and I were able to give him up to the care of God, which gave us comfort and hope in our grief. It was not until this past Easter, in preparing a Sunday school lesson, that I heard our hope expressed this way, – “The worst thing in life is not the last thing.”
The book Lamentations expresses the writer’s anger, sorrow and grief as he walked through the ruins of Jerusalem following it’s destruction by the Babylonians. However, in verses 21-24 of chapter 3 you find these words:
21 “Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope;
22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”